Sunday, January 31, 2010

The move is finally done and can I clarify again how much I HATE moving!!!! WORST thing ever!! Either we have way too much stuff, or we have way too many kids!! lol.

Ready to settle in and and get comfy.... I LOVE our new home!!

We had so many great friends & family who helped us get through this move & we couldn't have done it without them all. We love you all!! Thanks again for everything!!



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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Anxiously waiting..

I have been glued to my computer for the last week awating a response from a woman who was looking for me to give me information about my father, much to my disapointment I still have not heard anything back from her. :(

I'll fill you all in....

Ever since I was 3, my father has been absent from my life. He and my mom married before I was born, it was a very painful & abusive marriage for my mother during that time. So, when I was 3, they divorced. My mom continued to raise me as a single mom & my father never came back or tried to contact me, for 29 years to be exact.

It's always been my burning desire to meet him or frankly, just to know about him and know why he left me. I understand the fear behind my mom keeping me away from him, but as a child who has had an absent parent in their lives, you always have an empty feeling that's undescribable to those who have never experienced it. So many people in my family don't understand why I would want to meet him and honestly, I don't know either. A part of me is very angry at him for being so selfish and not caring about my feelings as his daughter. I'm angry that he took the easy way out and never gave my mom a penny to help raise me, which she so dearly needed. I'm angry that he doesn't realize how much it hurt growing up without a father.

Then on flip side, I feel sorry for him. I would hate for him to think I hate him, because I don't. What if he really wants to know me and contact me, but he's scared, just like me? What if he does think about me on my birthday? What if he's alone & miserable? What if it made his life complete to know I turned out great and have a wonderful family life? These questions drive me crazy!

So, I have tried to find him for years. At one point, I even hired a PI, which she found him for me...but I chickened out! I know, stupid right? Well she came back to me with some hard information. For starters, she had a hard time finding him due to how many times he moves. He moves about every 6 months which makes it VERY hard to track him...almost like he's running from someone. Could that be me? Another reason I chickened out. She also said he was in prison for 2 years for aggravated assault, 4 counts. I chose not to contact him since I didn't feel comfortable then, but I regret it now.

I do believe people can change & I hope he has too. 3 years ago I put a post on the internet looking for him & requested information from anyone who may have it. Well last week while doing my usual google search for him, I came across a woman who put a post out for ME. She said she was looking for me, to give me some information about my father, however, she wanted to remain anonymous. It was kind of bazaar but I quickly responded back to her and have heard nothing since. I keep hoping and praying that she will get the gull to respond back to me. I need to find out on my own if he is the same as my family says or if he has changed.

My great friend "B" found me his address, which I have since mailed him a letter. I will keep you all posted...I hope this works out so I can FINALLY get closure. Whether he wants to have a relationship or not, I can handle any outcome.
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Monday, January 25, 2010

Poor Vikes!

I'm not one that gets overly vicious about sports (KEYWORD: OVERLY) but there's just something about last nights NFC Championship game that still infuriates me! I agree that the saints should get a chance to head to superbowl, but do I think they deserve it? No! Those ref's called many calls that I was in absolute shock over! I know its very unlikely, but I believe it was a fixed game. (shocking, right?)

I won't go too much into my boring details incase any of you are saints fans (sorry) but I am NOT happy with the outcome of that game! I hope we have better ref's for superbowl sunday and I HOPE and PRAY that the saints won't win! Dear Colts: Don't fumble the ball & protect your QB because these guys play dirty! Much love to my favorite QB's Kurt Warner & Brett Favre..hope to see you both next season!! **sniff ~sniff**

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She's done it again

I always make fun of my Mother in Law because she always has to change her decor in her house, ALOT! She always says she needs change, she gets sick of the old and wants new...guess I should clarify people; we're talking strictly furniture here..LOL!!

It just dawned on me this morning, after I changed my blog again for the umpteenth time now, I'm a change addict too! Maybe I don't change the decor in my house, EVER, but if I look at how many times I change my blog, change my hair color, change my makeup colors and my clothing styles....I'm the same way. Now to only figure out who spends the most, with the cost of all my hair color..I think I might have her beat! Oh brother! Time for a change!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

It's finally out!

She's had this loose tooth for weeks now & it finally came out tonight, she pulled it out herself! It bled & bled for about 30 minutes too..lol. She's a happy camper waiting for the tooth fairy tonight!